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I'm not okay , you guys know it . Do I look okay to you ? Most importantly , do you know how much I want to be okay ? Do you know the condition to whereby how screwed I am ? Everybody extended their hands to me for consolation , but nobody understands . I'm afraid if I go too in depth to tell somebody that understands , I'll just screw up by crying . At some particular moment , all I ever want to do is grab a hammer and hammer my knee , then I'll be able to stop dancing . I can't stop now , I can't bring myself to stop . Nothing can replace the priority of dance in my kokoro . But then at the same time I can't bring myself to hammer myself . It's runing my new year . I don't even have a life anymore . My whole life is tied to my knee and it's controlling my emotions , it's making it fluctuate so badly all I ever want to do now is lie in bed and be a morbid and cry the living daylight hell out of myself . Slowly , all the strength is gone . I have to sit down and bathe because I can't stand properly . I fall when I try to dance .

So stop asking me anymore if I'm going to be okay .
Do you know that everytime somebody asks if I'm okay I actually take time to ponder about the questions ? I don't even have a downright answer . No honestly I'm not okay , that's the answer . But what's the point of letting people worrying unnecessarily ?

I'm not going to be okay tomorrow morning when I wake up .
I'm not going to be okay next week .
I'm not going to be okay next month .
I'm not going to be okay for a very long time .
My heart is not going to be okay as long as my leg isn't okay /-

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