Everyone is just so screwed .
Friday, January 28
What's happening to you ?
You're becoming so irascible lately .
I really want to know what's wrong .
Or maybe I don't , no actually I really don't .
Because I have my own problems to solve too .
It acts as an anchor and it sinks me in deep into the ocean .
I'm strangling beneath my own emotions , I can't cry everynight .
One day the pain's gonna end right , when's that day going to come ?
Do you know the feeling of pain , the degree of how pain it is ?
When all you can do is wince and groan and nobody knows .
When I look at people leg and wish I had healthy legs too .
Or the feeling of looking at everyone's concern ?
Or the feeling that everything is ending soon .
You don't know , nobody does .
No Mrs Gay , No Mdm Neo , no I don't want to quit syf . You don't have to give me time to ponder over that question . You can give me 1 week , or even 100 years and the answer will still be the same , No . I've worked so much in dance . I've prepared and attended all the practices faithfully for 6 months . But today you know how much it hurt ? When Mrs Gay asked me this 'The other day when Mdm Neo ask you to switch legs, it's because you were in pain right?' I wanted to cry so badly , but still I held back the tears until I was alone in the dance studio that I teared . Now I'm sacrificing so much steps because I can't do them - something that could be done so easily back then . You never know how much it hurts my heart , you never really really know , nobody does . I'm convincing myself now , it's going to be over soon . I'm mentally prepared to stop dancing April , give up everything , all the dreams everything . But I'm not prepared to give up now ! It caught me by shock too , the rate at which my leg is loosing it's strength .
But then I'm sure as a dancer , we're work , we sweat , we bleed , we work until we cannot work anymore .
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