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I want to proudly announce I've survived 6 months.
6 months before I loathed teacher for transferring me into a strange class.
6 months before I was reluctant to perform even a split in class.
6 months ago I was the introvert in the class.
However, now I fostered such a sense of belonging I feel I belong here.
I succumbed to find myself and I succeeded.
I managed 2 grades, 3 dances, 5 theories.
This itself is an accomplishment, because teacher have never seen anyone do this.
6 months and I realize I cannot bear to leave you peeps .
Karoline, Estella, Nicole, Germaine, Shiqi, Zhixin, Shermaine, Gracia, Michelle ♥

Okay in the morning I rushed like hell and 89-ed to Loyang Point.
Sms-ed and called/answered calls throughout the 30 minute journey.
Thought I was late, but teacher have yet to start grooming -.-
In chronological(HAHA) order, Shiqi, Germaine, Gina, Me !:D
She gel my fringe without me knowing and I got damn pissed :/
Halfway through hair/pinning on ribbons the examiner came.
Looks are deceiving.
Did stretches, took some photos, random on how we feel, practiced.
The bursting anticipation before we enter is like boomz!(:
Went in, made mistakes, heart attack, look so frightened, went out.

Went to MacDonald's for lunch and did some homework, unsuccessfully.
Went back up to Crestar and do homework, successfully![:
Then took more photos, gossiped(yessss), stretched, danced, randomed.
Went with Gina to change into black leotard and buy ... Red Bull =="
Went in another time and the examiner was like 'I've seen you before!'
HAHAHAHA, I thought of interesting things we could have said ,
"No, you must have made a mistake" or "No, was it my twin you saw?"
Anyways it was bad, seriously incredibly honestly certainly obviously BAD.
I somehow only managed barre before I lost energy and flopped around ):
Centre was like complied with thousands of mistakes!
Sideway glances, an attempt at copying with those nervous glances.
Was made to repeat unset combination darn many times, marks cut down T.T
Then something extraordinary happened, the examiner asked us to sit down and rest!O.O
So we rested while I tied on my classical skirt.
Classical dance was just screwed.
Character is worst, I stopped halfway to take a breath when she wasn't looking.
The CD operator made amusing faces to make me laugh.
I just smiled at her, and continued dancing -.-"
Anyways heres the crappy part
I had running nose and the examiner was like 'Here dear, take tissue, wana rest?'
Thankfully she encouraged us after every after exercise.
After that I swear I ran out of the studio with the urge to cry.
Wanted to hug teacher and apologised for the shit I did inside T.T

Reality states it's over.
1 month until the dreadful results come out.
The honours plus I'm aiming for just flew away ):
What can we do.
We're taking two grades with two hours interval.
We're this tired and the red bull doesn't help.
We've spend 6 months worrying and stressing out about forgotten steps.
Sadly it's now over and we can't stop worrying about the results still.
At least the pressure is now over, all over.
Vanessa has a chance to be more human, again.

Rushed back to school for CCA, but already 5 minutes late.
Text Miss Tan if she was in school so I can rush home to take math homework.
Then reach school 1 hour late, saw Miss Chua and asked permission to search for chers.
By the time I changed it was like 4.15 , rest for 5 mins and started dancing.
Storm requires turning like crazy, super dizzy ttm!
Chat with Miss Chua with Kerri/Pamela for 20 minutes, then danced again!:D
Reached home after a exhilarating day at 7.30
My mind was bursting with memories, regrets, fatigue.

I'm now certain over something .
I love dance, I really really can't feel anything except dance.
But if I really were to stop dancing, I'll become very depressed ):
Know why I'm saying this ?
I'm about to collapse soon.
我要崩溃了。
This shouldn't be the case, but...
My knee injury(Yeap, the December one) is so bad.
Look at the photos above *Scroll up* the left knee is super swollen.
Applying medication to icing it seems just so little that I can do.
But I really wonder just how long more can i carry on.

6 months with you little kiddies made me realize I developed this strong bond with you all. From running away and having this dread about practice that I look forward to it so much. However, when I finally knew how to treasure what short time we have left, I was only left with 1 month. Now I may be parting again, is this how realistic a ballerina life is ? ):

I hope the 6 months I dedicated so much effort to will pay off.
I never once regretted loading myself with this burden.
I want to experience the stress of it again, simply because...
I love dance, I really really do.
I'll glady go through another series of trauma and pain and die.

Sports day, Ballet exams , Awards Ceremony, Arts Festival.

Labels: Yet another burdened released.

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