慢慢消失的那一道彩虹
Wednesday, December 9
09 December 2009; 6.34pm永不消失的彩虹-卓文萱
7 more days Fahrenheit come Singapore! (:
8 more days to suicide! D:
22 more day Mrtan leave; 53 more days Msgoh leave! T.T
只有你懂我会流泪是因为最深处的感动
Yesterday was a hectic yet exciting day for SJC's dance ensemble. Morning had such a difficult time putting on my contact lenses, was on the verge of giving up when it sense my irritation and went in(: keke. Went to school with Chantelle and my eyes were like irritated, itchy and dry. Reached school at the same time as Msgoh, so ran down to dance studio, and the lucky me was 10 seconds earlier than Msgoh!:D hahaaaaa. Slacked around awhile and beat the morning blues and then Msgoh wanted to tie our hair, so she asked me to go to her first. I thought she'll start tugging my hair or something, but she gently tied the left side, and every time she brush against my face she'll apologise== then the right side got so tangled up because of the gel that she gave up because she claimed she didn't want to hurt me :/ so walked around with a half-done hair. And Natalie saved me, but she was like 'Why is your hair so tangled yet not tangled?' Then Ethel was like what a stupid question-.-'' so I could only laughhhh and giggle without answering her. Went to Amanda's mother for toner and foundation then took some unsuccessful photos with Priscilla before going to Msgoh for white eyeshadow. Priscilla went first, then when my turn msgoh cleaned her hands because it was already full of colours. Perhaps I sat too far away from her or something, but she continuously asked me to move nearer to her._. but Msgoh is so gentle, almost couldn't feel her touching my eye^^ and she made me smile too(: Went to Mschua for blue eyeshadow, and she was like 'are you fair or what? I like put so much already still not dark enough' hahaaaaaa, first person to said I was fair!XD Went to Amanda's mum again for eyeliner, but because the lower lid is so sensitive, practically everyone was tearing and smudging the eyeliner T.T
Took more photos and changed into costume. Then Mrtan came down to wish 1D dancers good luck. Helped Msgoh carried the Macs. Then the knife on the table beside the cake was so intimidating. Yessss, Msgoh bought the cake to wish us good luck and also to bid a farewell for Mala. So thoughtful of Msgoh to spend so much money on us dancers, but everyone really appreciated it. Ate and had a chat in the 1D circle with our spirit shining through!:P cleared up and put on shoes and run through like twice showing our mini-audience consisting of MrTan, Kristy and Amanda's mum. Because the centre circle cropped up a problem, so we kept on running until perfect it, but at the last run, I almost fell, much to the shock of everyone. Then my knee was tingling the wrong way inside, so at the lasttttt run, I felt a crack and something pulling the wrong way inside, could only freeze in one position and fret. So Msgoh suggested I rest first, and worst was, I couldn't even sit without it hurting like stabbing knifes. Was so worried I almost burst into tears D: Then Msgoh gave me a real hard question to ponder over, 'Do you still want to perform' and after hesitating, I agreed, because I couldn't fail Msgoh, although I'm already tottering and also because she claim she can't fit into my costume...
Got on the bus and sat with Moira, and her ribbon was just that close to tearing, but Msgoh the great saved it in time with rubber bands!:D Then looking concerned, she asked me about the condition of my knee, so I answered 'very pain'. But was speechless about how pain is very pain == So she pressed it real hard, IDK if you would classify it as pressing but I knew I wince and she tried finding spray... Reach SSS and sat around, duh. I sat in one corner because I couldn't move much, but thankfully Moira bought a cup of juice for me, thanks!^-^ Felt so useless, even had to rely on Moira to help me throw the cup away): Then Msgoh helped me spray on hair sprayed carefully and gently. And after dinner[ which was hotdog bread ] put on lipstick. And the excitement just kept on growing up to the climax. Tension welled up inside me and I was so close to breaking down. Slowly the athletes came, in a long flow. Then somewhere amidst the anticipation, I only remember stepping on water to make our shoes non-slippery and Msgoh asking me to smile and relax because I was crying. At that time, I was really regretting about my knee, because I was positive that something would happen. Then in we went, backstage. Strangely, my emotions were strong, but fear and pain overtook the nervousness.
On stage we went. All the emotions were gone, and although the jab of pain was so excruciating I felt so free and happy, stage line and camera shining at us. It felt like a happy dream. The miraculously wonderful bubble bursted when I couldn't get up after squatting so supported with my hands, and the circle was brilliant, although I was hobbling more than running. 5 people couldn't reach their places in time, but still smiled. And before I knew it, it was over. I felt so proud of myself, I've overcome my pain and fear and done my very best. But when walking back to holding area, I couldn't walk, really. So Jeralyn told Msgoh and she supported me over to sit. Then MsChua called the bus and it was already in the distinct, so we walked out to the bus when we saw... MsHo!(: She was grinning from ear to ear and looking so proud. At this instinct, I knew that I made the right choice, although my knee was throbbing already, looking at Msgoh's and MsHo's proud faces, I felt enlightened. So MsHo praised and congratulated us on the bus and thanked us for dedicating our time during practice.
Reached school and Priscilla spared me one piece of make-up removal. But only removed foundation, lipstick and blusher and kept the eyeshadow on. Know why? Because if somebody attack me at night, I'll scare them off with the hideous and scary eyeshadow. Accompany Ruien to toilet and cried. Then went back studio, but it was quite empty already, only left with some indian dancers and the 1D modern dancers. Then the pain got so unbearable Ruien told msgoh and she asked me to sit next to her, for what? Massage-.-'' I managed the pain well, I guess. But I cried. Because she was literally pressing my injured area. So I grabbed her hand, and she was like 'I know it's this area and it's very pain but endure' so I did. And silent tears just keep flowing, and the entire hell lasted like 15 minutes. Then walked out of school with the remaining dancers and Msgoh and Mschua. Came to know that Mschua also lived in Pasir Ris, and she was planning on taking 89, but because I was afraid, she accompanied me to take 88 and chatted along the way. She's nice too(: But I'm going to misss Msgoh terribly!
At night, Ruien was so concerned she called and text me, and she even helped me text Msgoh. And at night, I rolled, tossed, turned, fidget in bed but could not get to sleep. My knee is like pain even when pressing against the bed. And around midnight Msgoh text me with 'Sorry had dance rehearsals, how are you doing?' Off my phone because got so scared and stay awake until 2 thinking, pondering, worrying and crying...
Labels: 不要再熄灭我的未来
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