残忍的时间把诺言一个个摧毁
Monday, December 7
07 December 2009; 12.53pm
天灰-S.H.E
1 more days to YOG opening ceremony performance!!!!! ^^ 9 more days Fahrenheit come Singapore! :DD
10 more days to death! ):
天空今天好灰,我不想在逞强了今晚不知道要如何度过呢。。。
Saturday. I feel as if fate is playing a trick on me. Every time I set my mind to do something disappointing and bad will happen. Now I'm discouraged and battled. Mummy and Daddy quarrelled in a heated argument. I don't know what to do except watch in one corner feeling so hopeless. And the argument topic circled around my brother, yet he was so nonchalant about it. Met Stella at white sands for lunch at Macs then walked around before heading towards the arcade. Enjoyed myself thoroughly, wow. Since holidays started, I've been dancing for practically everyday making me so depressed, now that I took one step back, the scenery is really good to admire. Just one more day of tolerance to holiday. Went to buy some snacks then head for ballet, the first time with Stella!(: By the time 21 turned into Tampines, was already late. Started cursing inside== then stoned outside the studio unsure how to find a valid explanation of bringing her alone. So by the time all the boo-hoos ended, was 20 minute into class already. Did barre and then had to leave developpes and hold for 15 seconds, and fortunately, I improved because I held there for the total time without pain!:D Centre went smoothly too. Setting my mindset on a positive mode that I'll overcome everything really works. I felt so confident and did the steps as expected of me feeling much happier than I have in months. Stella went home then did waltzing. My heart was palpitating so hard, unsure if I'll make it through the exercise. But I managed it, after 2 months of practicing^^ Did classical dance and character. Character was like blurrrr throughout, but managed here and there. Memorized classical dance and only have to polish it. Last 30 minutes with Gina was soooo -.-'' because we were all so tired. Then unfortunately, slight asthma attacked me. Then giddy and started panting for breath red-faced. Danced through the classical grade 4 like thrice. Then the last time felt so weak like I could collapse onto the floor in exasperation. Ached everywhere, but still enjoyed it. It's been a long time since ballet was so satisfying. Maybe everything wasn't practically impossible to overcome, just that I needed patience and walk step by step. Whatever it is, I feel so carefree, I can float and dance forever.
Yesterday. Daddy bring Xavier go watch Ben 10 live at Expo, so before that went to East point eat. Then after they left, went to check the ballet school, and they charge $270 for 10 lessons, which is kinda cheaper than Crestar, but is like friggin inconvenient. Then go Watsons buy hand cream and ******* [Censored] shopped around lazily before heading to Tampines, and bought the silk handkerchief that I need for character dance, which I've been looking for like months! XD blue, which matches my skirt, dang got the temptation to purchase purple too :/ then Xavier watch finish already, and all of us went to whitesands. Bought a pair of pink pants. Really love it man, my favourite colour, plus the design is so unique, what's more. We clinch a perfect deal, thanks to discount we saved $28! (: go arcade and played, saw Stella again, eat dinner then come home. Watched Charity show, was like damn touched by everyone genuine efforts to raise money and donate generously despite the economic downfall. And the part when the blind girl and 梁文音 sang 'You Raise me Up' , cried manz. So touching!~
This morning dance again. Then Msgoh was like 25 minutes late, tsssssk! Did warmup under Msgoh's eagle eyes, and those that we usually do like a breeze because we slacked turned horrendous today because we kept on repeating. Then my injured knee was so pain today, and it swell again T.T but I could not pluck up the courage to tell msgoh about it, so bear and tolerated with the pain which was so excruciating until the end. And the one that we have to lie down and split was like ouch! ): because I didn't straighten my knee and msgoh kept on looking at me, with 'Vanessa you're so flexible! pull straight' 'Pull to your ear!' So I did. Especially left Msgoh kept on urging me to do my best that I put the pain aside and did a split, yes. I pleased msgoh and myself, but the consequences was undesirable. Couldn't walk without limping, so Ruien helped me tell her._. then msgoh was like sit beside me, so I went unaware of what's looming next. It turned out a little wrong. Because she asked me to lie down, so I did, and gave Ethel that hopeless look, which she shrug and smirkkkkk back :B then Msgoh lift my leg and pull up the tights and massage it. Although it doesn't seem like one, because it hurt like omggggg, so I'll say it's called pressing=='' then was like so painnn, wanted to cry already then msgoh said I sit on the chair, she on the mattress, so switched-.-'' and then she massaged again, this time I was like wincing in pain and grabbing her and the chair. And she was like, 'I know it's very pain, but did it ease a little?' then she told the committee that she felt so hopeless. Sorry Msgoh!D: I made you worried again... Tried dancing, but could barely managed the bending steps, felt like such a failure! Then afterthat, thank god no second run, so briefing and went home.
Tonight is 学警出更!:D My darllll liwen ahhhhhh~ Look at what Msgoh commented on my fb profile : 'Darling, check your pointe and your arms. At some point I think I saw a sickle foot but the video's blur and I can't be sure. But in any case, you've got great lines so use them to the max!'
`So Msgoh wanted me to achieve my best all the while. And I've been neglecting it!:O Not exactly neglect, but I didn't realize her efforts for me to conquer the fears and reach up to my calibre and standard. Why do she keep commenting my facebook with encouragement? Why do she keep correcting me more than others? It's definitely not a setback but priviledge to have a teacher that cares so much for me. So now I know why she keep on wanting me to oversplit and dance better than before. It's not something I can't manage nor achieve, it's in me, just that I never once showed it before... Thank you Msgoh(:Labels: 所有的灯早已经熄灭
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