Hey you. I just don't know how am I going to find the courage to forgive you whole-heatredly and let bygones be bygones. I'll try really hard to but it's not working. You've hurt me for exactly 5 months, and I kept it in the dark for fear of deeper bullying. I don't know what've I done, and you can't even answer me with a definite answer why are you doing this? By what means can I ever trust you? I thought I could forgive you for the first time, but you subsequently and continuously did it again and again, for 3 times. I'm still afraid of you, and you're the main reason I miss out so much fun this year. Can you possibly pay me back all that you've made me lost? Can you pay back for my now gone happiness? You pressed me on the verge of suicide. This, will forever remain vivid in my mind, I doubt anything can make me forgive this. Meanwhile, thank you for the scars you once caused, which now seems so trivial...

I've decided to give up on my wishful thinking. I'm going to try and start afresh. Crushing on you brings me nowhere, I'm left with this open wound and blood is gushing, scenarios reminds me of you. It seems everything reminds me of you. You'll perhaps never be my angel afterall.. If only you knew that I strongly need you for encouragement, and a tight embrace. Hearing your voice melts me irresistibly, and I'm dreading how many more times will it be the last. I'm collecting and gathering memories, towards the last. But I really do love you, maybe we're just never meant to be. I hate being so morbid here when you don't know how much I scream on the inside for you. That's it my dear, I'm giving up. 是你给了我勇敢，就算到世界劲头。。。

Alright, time to put whatever emotions away. I'm determined to restart life from the beginning, without you. Although I must say, it's destined I met you. I want to start my wonderful journey, along with the weather and churning road. I promise to forget you. Let's see. Ms.Goh and Teacher expects so much from me, I ain't going to let them disappointed uhh? I'm going to work very very hard and chide myself for being so childish in the years to come. I still have time for love, youth is ticking away and while I still can, I shall cherish my ability to dance. Passion comes one in a lifetime, it's impossible to break it. 虽然真的恨不得放弃，背着愿望离开，但我做不到，好歹我也带着这个梦想那么久了，相信我的努力总算不会白费。听过俗语说吗？台上一分钟，台下十年公。对啦，抓紧时间好好努力吧！:D I'm aching like crazy from yesterday 1 hour stretch. Even laughing is hard, stomach muscles are hurting too. Wtf-.-'' Well. I guess 凡是都要付出代价. Let's see how I'm going to die in the 3 hour practice tomorrow. Gear up and dance, I'll show Ms.Goh I can do it!^^ Although I got this nasty feeling she'll "kill" me againT.T Life-plan. I'm going to put all my energy and time on singing and dancing. Other un-necessary stuff like falling in love will have to wait. Going to have to buckle up if I want to change to SOTA next year. Crap talk.

Did I mention? I really hate ballet sometimes. I hate going to ballet when the sun is shining so brightly on me and I have to endure the 10 minute walk after I get down the bus under the pathetic scorching sun with 3 layers of clothes. I hate dancing in the studio watching the sun sets. And I really really hate class ending at 7 and fighting my phobia of darkness to get home with utmost uneasiness and awkwardness. Man, muscle aches are really killing me. Hate to endure the gruesome stretching. Pffffft! Like sending myself to torture chamber. You see, a dancer life is not suited for anyone, huh! ~.~

猜猜看，为了要让我的天使回到身边，我到底会做出什么事来呢？

我还正活在痛苦中呢。。。