24-November-2009; 7.42pm 14 more days to YOG opening ceremony! :(
22 more days Fahrenheit come Singapore! {:
23 more days to "something undesirable"
习惯在热闹的路边流浪着了。。。
如果说我把希望熄灭决定永远隔离这个热闹的场边?
如果说我再也不想被你的谎言给拼命的挣扎着?
如果说我决定不再相信任何人了,甚至是自己?
如果说我真的很累很累了,根本没有勇气,力气跟你斗下去?
如果说我被你的一举一动给逼到想要大哭,放弃一切?
如果我说我就是一个活生生的人,根本不应该被你捏带!
I think I don't understand how complicated things are. But I think that after silently screaming for help over your threats and bullies, it's time to put a stop. I'm sick of crying silently in the dark night, hoping someone would hear my cry for help. You went through what I experienced just recently, does it makes sense that you again come hurt me and accuse me just because people make up a story? You come to me when you need help or a listening ear, I willingly help you through your rough patches, isn't it weird to say that my rough patches are cause by the pain you inflicted on me? Hey girl, you don't know that I am here crying behind this screen while you are there thinking of ways to irk me and upset me? I can't help being stupid enough to fall for everything and get this hurt. No, I can't reach out for help. Nobody believes me anyway, they perceive things your way, like how you manage to gossip to persuade them to side your stand. Life is so unfair. Just a few days back, I thought I had everything, happiness, friends, family, passion. And in an momentarily, I feel like I've lost everything. Happiness Friends? Family , Talent. I feel so dejected. Hack, and I need to cryT.T Someone here is languish because of you.
Msgoh ditched us dancers again for meeting:/ So Sandhya took over, again. I successfully skipped some gruesome warmups and smirked at the modern dancers. Nah uh, I wasn't being naughty, I was injuredD: but yeah, my knee hurt, and I felt so bad for letting Sharon suffer under my nose!(: while I just stood there without giving her moral support except telling her that the committee are looking. Awwww, sorry!): Anyway, dance today was a little better. The dance is like stupendous. But I've a problem. I can't bend, I can't run without my knee giving way somehow or other, or hurting. And people are willing to switch with me for my position and we inter-switch, dance to ribbon;ribbon or dance. But is Msgoh going to approve? NO. Once she knows I'm injured, bang bang, I'm out. But some people have understudy or reserves for them, and the friggin hell is, I don't! #.# So other than putting up with the pain, there's nothing I can do. What, I'm better at controlling the pain, I danced without resting and didn't moan. Butttttt, now I can feel my knee acting up again. I predict that by 8 December, two weeks later after the grand performance, I can go for a knee surgery already=.= not cursing myself, butt....
Sometime sunsets really lifts up my mood. Look at how brilliant the weather look just 1 hour back. I appreciate the weather, it totally calms me down^.^