乌云在眼睛里不散
Thursday, October 22
22-October-2009; 7.56pm
远在身边-周定纬
2 more days to ballet^^
7 more days to holiday (!!)
Not everyone is as independent as you... you need to realize that...
Memories do start to fade after all, along with bucketful of tears, I reminiscence and wake up in darkness. So? I know I'm not facing up to reality like I should, instead I'm hiding in my shell in fear of getting hurt, and running away from truths. I'm a coward, I admit I don't want to be hurt again. I really don't know what I've done, take it or leave it. I'm not guilty of gossiping or whatever, but you won't believe me. You add salt to my wounds. I've removed majority of the permissions, and I sense gossips and insults coming. I seriously cannot bear it anymore. If you're going to hurt me this intensively, why not... take my life away? I don't want living a ruined life thanks to you. It isn't very fair is it? You're smirking at my sadness, where have my human rights went to? You're putting your happiness on other's grieve, does that makes you happy? 把你的快乐放在别人的痛苦上。I assume you've never been hurt before, and you don't know how it hurts. Perhaps you should come hurt me again. I'm in so much pain, it's so obvious. Maybe... you really don't experience what I went through, but that doesn't mean you can laugh at me. What does this makes you...? I cannot tell any teachers, and I've been putting up with your nonsense for 5 months. I've really had enough, even the strongest person would have collapsed. I've sunken in dejection.
Yesterday checked English and Math papers. Earned myself additional 2 marks because Mrs.Wong accidentally marked my correct answers wrong-.- now, I'm only two pathetic marks away from my A1. Freak. Math is like a goner, another 1 more mark to A(1/2)? Recess saw Ms.Tan, abandoned my food and chase her like crazy. Boy, she sure walks fast._. Was breathless by the time I managed to catch up with her. Apologised for being rude the other day, and she accepted my apology, and she advised me on some stuff. And she totally understand that I love playing netball alot. Went back to canteen, but appetite was destroyed. So fast forward to after school. Had to meet Ms.Goh in dance studio for compulsory announcement. Amazed the other sec 1 by reading Ms.Goh's mind. Haha, cool:DDD Got invited to perform for YOG's Opening ceremony in December. Have to rush to get a dance choreograph and perfected, but I trust Ms.Goh to do a great job. Honoured ttm. Told Ms.Goh I need to speak to her privately about some stuff and waited for like 15 minutes dancing outside with Tricia^^ Then I stumbled with the first few sentences, but gradually poured everything I've been bottling up since June. Eh, she wanted to know the reason for the switch, so I told her. Then I cried. And she randomly searched for words, to no avail. But yeah, before I further make a fool out of myself, I stopped. Yeah, Ms.Goh is right! (: I have dance, as long as my love and passion is present, nobody can get me down. Listen to my own heart, keep my own head, even went people around me are mean, a dancer dances from the bottom of her heart, with a genuine smile. Ms.Goh, thanks<3 But Ms.Goh obviously have to do something about the ... , like duh? Despite my constant pleas, she still insist she have to settle it. Well. As long as she don't be like ____ who is so busybody, he/she literally reports every single movement of me. HA. Forget to mentioned that was so upset yesterday in class, I was holding back tears for 1 hour. Until Juliana came and "explained" things to me, we ended up shouting. Tears spilled out, and I ran out of class,
Today delibrately go to school late. Then went to CT venue but Vahesh had to check TL papers. Whatever> <>Strongly Agreed then another question was if CCA not compulsory, would you still take part? Hah! Of course;D Ms.Goh, you should be happy to have such a passionable and committed dancer!^^ Then 987FM came to SJC, without bringing any celebrity, but enough to make us go wild. Ehh, them, not me. Stoned throughout, and Vahesh, you rocked ttm! Stay back for nothing, wandering around while waiting for Sheikha to complete her CCA trial. Then I walked to and fro dancing and reading until the volleyball peeps close the door, but opened it like 2 minutes later-.- then 1 hour later, was seriously engrossed in reading, Mrs.Wong came out and asked me if I know the '1E girl' which is 'SHAKE!(:' Went to find her and then pulled her back to gym and Mrs.Wong was like I expected you to come say you going, so I can approve, diaoz-.-'' 1E peepos trained for tomorrow's competition and I mingled along. And unfortunately, there were many casualties, including Sheikha and Eunice, unfortunately): Poor thing, awww): Shake almost cry. Then I went to get Mrs.Wong and yeah while walking to the casualties, Mrs.Wong was like how are your results? I admitted it was bad, and she said that as long as I tried my best, it doesn't matter. And she said 1D overall average was high, I was like yeah and avoided her gaze and said that I hate 1D and ran away. Helped Eunice and Shake put plaster. Mrs.Wong was like 'I'm going to look for first aider.' Amanda: 'The first aid box over there' Mrs.Wong: *Turns Around* First-AIDER. OMGOMG, ubber funny. But I turned out quite well a nurse, should switch to SJAB huh? Then Mrs.Wong talked randomly. Wth, but got her cold jokes. LOL.
I thought I had erased you from my memory, but you cease to be forgotten. You stole part of my heart away, and it's empty without you. I longed for you daily, but can only painfully watch you from far. This is misery, utter misery. I almost forgot your love until today, when we came so close, I tingled with anticipation, while my heart did a flip-flop, you oblivious to my love. I guess you're the key to my heart I will never forget. I can't forget you no matter how persistent I try to. Please, don't go away.
Tomorrow's dance practice!(: Can't wait to see if I'm in contemporary, Chinese or Indian(hopefully not). FREAKO. That busybody is back to business-.-'' blogged more tomorrow. So depressed):
Labels: Don't worry about tomorrow as tomorrow will take care of itself.
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