Date and Time: 12-July-2009 ; 6.20
Current Weather: Going to rain
Current Mood: I'm going to scream and cry ):
Current Song: 店小二
One whole week to endure, before ballet again):
I bought my Tank album(:
I hate ballet
Took 518 to ballet and when it passed by the CC, I felt hot tears coming to my eyes. Then as Katherine said, I increased the volume of the music until it was blasting and I blinked away the tears. What to do? I want to scream and cry but I can't. I'm having continuous nightmares every night about ballet. At the stop of the CC, I look at Katherine, she turned away, I just feel the sudden urge to press the bell and alight and run back inside the smell of the studio, where we are familiarize with it already): Arugh!!
As per normal, we were the first two people to reach, and teacher was inside the studio blabbering on the phone. It's good to see teacher again(: I miss her sooo much, and I hate it to actually endure one gruesome week just to have that heavenly 1 hour with teacher and Katherine, only to find it end so fast. Today's atmosphere just isn't right no matter how much I tried to pay attention dancing. I found myself constantly doing the wrong steps and copied Gina. Ifeelguiltylehomgehwhatthefuck! Anyway, thank-goodness today didn't do any stretching or I would have dropped dead. Centre was worst, due to the injury last time, I completely didn't learnt but lucky managed to catch up. And we had to do the 90 degree arabesque and I felt my back burning from the pressure. Worst was, I have stomach cramps and gastric): Throughout the centre was like doing the exercise and once the music stops, I freaking have to clutch my left side luhh. And teacher was like making fun of me! Arugh* Then did the elbow stretch and I was flat down(: The reason why practicing makes perfect! Today lesson is a goner. One whole week I look forward to today so much and I didn't give my best shot today. I really hate this feeling. Teacher keep on correcting me today, and I hate the feeling! Dancing ain't so easy uhh Katherine...
After ballet my gastric became like worst so didn't change, just wore shirt and FBTs over. But I took out the bun, and went to Tampines to buy you-would-not-want-to-know-what-i-ate because I'm sure teacher would actually kill me because she don't approve of it* but for me it's okay. wahahahawhaw(: lucky teacher didn't give me banana leh isabell! Neh-neh-neh-put-put[: went to whitesands to get my magic ink and went home.
and you know what?
`I'm actually sick of rushing to Tampines Safra.
`I'm sick of sitting through the butt-aching bus ride.
`I've had enough pain passing by the CC.
`I hate to know that I didn't dance good enough because I feel pissed.
`I HATE THE STUDIO HERE
-Just rushing all the way to Safra and what? I have to see the counter parrot lady black face, I don't owe you money right?! Then I don't like getting use to this new environment when I actually think I'm doing fine back there. The barre here is disconnected from the wall! And there's no stability, so how can we count on it for support? Especially today, my mind is swirling with steps that I don't understand. I mixed up my left and right and croisse and how-do-you-spell-it and there's this STUPID GASTRIC THROBBING OVER THERE until now, I feel real stupid like I should have paid attention. But can't blame me right! The previous grade, the steps just seem to flow through smoothly without me actually thinking what to do, just like let go and let my body do the job but somehow, everything advanced. I have to go through this major-brainstorm before every step and I somehow feel desperate, and I still see everyone else struggling to keep up with teacher): Now I really fcuking mix up my centre. OH FREAK! I just somehow remember what sashay here and there, and arabesque and what? I don't know. I guess there'll be a major earthquake later as I figure how to perfect it. Great.
PERFECT! THERE'S JAZZ AESTHETICS TOMORROW AND MY BODY IS ACHING. hownicelehcanyoutellimjustbeingrealsarcastichere.
Can't believe. Four days in a row with horrendous nightmare!
stupid. I don't even know how the two Ms.Tan(s) came into my dream. And what is Katherine and Isabell doing in SJC in 1D CT venue? Wabiang. but in the end, it's saddening, the dreams I dreamt of this four days are all related to ballet. I only hope that in reality it's the opposite, because if anything like this happens in real life, I'm so going to jump off from e!hub ferris wheel. Katherine, you go jump from your Singapore Flyer luhh, the capsule is sealed, I freaking see how you manage to jump. Pathetic. I still got to tell Mrs.Wong about the nightmares because I've been dreaming of murder :@
*sorry for the un-replied tags. I'll reply soon.
*And I'll also upload the overdue pictures asap(: tyvm loyal peeps !
Katherine, those are my black leotard pictures:D go drool over them luhh. nehnehnehputput;p