被冤枉的感觉不好过啊...
Tuesday, June 9
Date and Time: 09-June-2009 ; 5.39pm Current Weather: Windy ; Hair messed up by the mini typhoon
Current Mood: Dead
Current Song: Bring me to life
Days to Skimming with Sheryl: 3
Ballet Class Outing: 10
I guess it's reached some point of time, I'm too tired, I'm having too much exhaustion I feel that I can faint any moment. 疲倦的身体, 一卷起来, 就觉得全身刺痛流血. 真的就这么想放弃, 回到以前的日子, 过得简简单单, 很平凡. 如果能把所有的担忧都放一旁, 一天, 一天就好, 给我想想我到底要做什么. I'm just at this point of giving up, just clinging on the the 0.0001% of hope, hoping one day everything will end. Hoping someday someone will undo the fear inside of me, and wake me up and save me from drowning. I'm too tired to cry already, for I've not have any more tears to spare. Everybody changed, they're not who I know last time, and worst, I'm not who I know last time. 到现在, 我还是无法去相信一切, 是恶梦啊, 看到了, 吓到了, 掉泪了.
Stomach flu. First Katherine, now me. No wonder we're destined to be so good friends. And perfect, when she had her stomach flu she had her period, and me too. Is it just a coincident or what. Katherine, we're meant to be together isn't it? Perfect. Not on;y must I be grounded at home for god knows how many pathetic days, I'll spend my days rolling about in bed with a very bad stomach-ache. Today was like worst. Woke up 10am and ate only nothing for lunch, went to sleep at 2pm and woke up at 5.30pm. Tried drinking Milo but vomited that out. Awwww): Katherine, now I finally know how you feel. I'm hungry in if you think logically, but if you think again, I'm not. HELL. Now I've got gastric. Whoo~ How cool. Period, Stomach Flu and Gastric. My poor poor stomach, by this weekend my stomach will shrink to the size of a pea:O Haha.
LIVING...
`In a world of darkness is unbearable.
`In a world of brightness is hurting my eyes.
`In a world of sadness is just too bad.
`In a world of hatred is too tired.
`In a world of arguments is killing me.
`In a world of depression is making me cry.
`In a tired world just hurts me.
DEPRESSION QUIZ:
`Have changes in their eating and sleeping habits ):
`Losing or gaining weight because of changes in appetite ):
`A feeling of being down in the dumps or really sad for no reason ):
`A lack of energy, feeling unable to do the simplest task (:
`An inability to enjoy the things that used to bring pleasure ):
`A lack of desire to be with friends or family members ):
`Feelings of irritability, anger, or anxiety ):
`An inability to concentrate ):
`Marked weight gain or loss and too little or too much interest in eating ):
`A significant change in sleep habits, such as trouble falling asleep or getting up ):
`Feelings of guilt or worthlessness ):
`Aches and pains even though nothing is physically wrong (:
`Extreme fatigue (:
`Difficulty concentrating and complaints of poor memory (:
`Slow speech; slow movements (:
`Lack of caring about what happens in the future ):
`Frequent thoughts about death or suicide ):
`Feelings of hopelessness, guilt, worthlessness, helplessness ):
`Persistent sadness, pessimism ):
`Wondering if life is worth living ):
`Feeling unworthy or guilty without an obvious reason (:
`Not moving or talking for hours ):
Oh nonono:( I'm too sad recently to eat, like although I feel hungry, but when the food is placed in front of me, I feel ravenous, I start eating, and one quarter, I give up eating. And look, I've weight myself, and I'm 1.4 kg lighter. I can't sleep at night, I just can't do anything positive recently. Like I'm home alone for this many days. I'll stop here. I can't bear to type anything else down. Oh, I'll continue. What's up with those new scars. I'll pretend it's not that after doing it, but it's there, nothing to hide. Yeah, why am such a coward, I want to die and I'm afraid, I cut somewhere where nobody will ever notice. I can't stop inflicting pain on myself. Crap, Crapping, Crapped.
I feel hurt. I feel hurt. I feel hurt. I feel hurt. I feel hurt. I feel hurt. I feel hurt.
I was hurt. I was hurt. I was hurt. I was hurt. I was hurt. I was hurt. I was hurt.
It's hurting. It's hurting. It's hurting. It's hurting. It's hurting. It's hurting.
I don't want to feel hurt. I don't want to feel hurt. I don't want to feel hurt.
Don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. Don't hurt me.
Even ballet, which used to be my only place to release my hurt and hatred is gone. I don't know what's the atmosphere going to be like on Sunday. If only we didn't hear it, then we would be at least kept in the dark. Signz... Actually, some things are better to be kept in the dark after all. When on earth is Naomi, Priscilla and Sheryl going to come back. I miss you guys so much. I've got things to tell you. WHERE ON EARTH WILL I BE; WITHOUT MY BLOG?
Labels: 其实当我离你而去时我还是在爱你的.