Saturday, March 21
HOPE LIES WITHIN THE RAINBOW. ITS FATED THAT I LOOK OUT AT THE RIGHT TIME.Third day already. Even the weather cried for me:O I feel so gloomy like the weather. Daddy and Mummy were yelling at me all over the stupid treatment thingy. I am old enough to make up my mind. I don't want to go. I said no, and I really mean it. And at night when I looked out of the window I saw something inspirational. Rainbow and I was wow. Then I made a wish and started crying.
I WISHED THAT: ...
1. By not choosing the operation alternative, I would still get well.
2. I can remain in Dance Ensemble and I can continue ballet forever and ever.
3. Everlasting Joy+Euphoria+Happiness+"Gay"+Optimistic
Hope it will come true. I've been feeling so miserable lately. Yesterday night was horrible. I went asleep in my wardrobe with teddy bear and MP3 and cried myself to sleep. And when I finally stepped out I was having aches and I went to stand near the window. 有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话. Is there any more ways that I can wake up soon? Any more ways that my loneliness will stop itself? Any more ways that I can rewind time? Any more ways that soon my misery will be gone? Negativity has taken over my mind. Will it go away soon? Tomorrow will be back to ballet. I can't wait. I have never love ballet so much. All for a sudden, it's like as if I can loose it anytime. 1 more day left to the important decision. I'm at a cross road. All the steps bring heartbreaks. I didn't know heartaches hurt so much and take such a long time to heal. I can't bring myself to on the television, who knows what I will see? Who knows if it will traumatized me?
Why am I always so useless? I really don't know what to do. Where is my will power when I am sad? Everything seem to change including me . I treasured everything last time but look at it now. Just in one day ( 19.03.09 ) I changed. I am not who I know last time. I am at a complete lost. I really don't know what to do. I'm not as strong as you think. I have yet broken apart. I want to die. But I'm afraid of the pain it will cause. I am afraid of ending myself. How do I even end myself without even pain? How do I continue living without any pain? Why am I such a coward? Why can't I face the problems with confidence? I want to die yet I'm really afraid. I don't face problems, I run away. Why is it that way? Staying in this world won't do any good.
Sleeping Pills: I will vomit the white powder out. Unless I eat the whole bottle.
Jumping Down: It takes courage to put two legs down.
Slashing: The pain really hurts. And it is quite impossible to die.
Gas: Breathe too much, only brain damage.
Hang myself: I don't know how to.
Shoot myself: I don't own a gun.
Run onto the road: The driver will be held responsible.
Electric: I don't want to get electrocuted. Scary.
I guess it's all impossible. Living in this world hurts so much more. But at the same time, I'm not the only one facing problems. Everyone is facing problems. But why am I so selfish??? So timid??? Such a useless bitch??? Why can't we live happily without any problems? Why do I stand up once again? How do I make myself stronger? How do I believe in myself and bring back my confidence again? I really don't know. I am sick of everything. I really wished there is someone helping me solve all the problems now. I really wished.
Listening to: 刮目相看 by 曹格
Feelings: ....
告诉你我不是 一个会认输的人 但我不得不承认 曾跌倒失败 也曾经走在阴霾 不看不听不说不笑 傻傻的发呆 难道我就被打败 多幸运有你 使我的生命充满希望 从今以後 不再垂头丧气走开 所有人的期待让我站起来 甩掉了阻碍 冲劲全打开 我终淤明白 Fly 尽全力才飞起来 没有後悔不後退 我让你刮目相看 Just fly 向世界证明我存在 努力过的汗水 不断灌溉美好未来 Cause l can fly yes I can fly 不看不听不说不笑 傻傻的发呆 难道我就被打败 多幸运有你 使我的生命充满希望 从今以後 不再垂头丧气走开 所有人的期待让我站起来 甩掉了阻碍 冲劲全打开 我终淤明白 Fly 尽全力才飞起来 没有後悔不後退 我让你刮目相看 Just fly 向世界证明我存在 努力过的汗水 不断灌溉美好未来 Cause l can fly yes I can fly Fly 尽全力才飞起来 没有後悔不後退 我让你刮目相看 Just fly 向世界证明我存在 努力过的汗水 不断灌溉美好未来 Cause l can fly yes I can fly Oh I believe Yes I believe I believe Oh I believe I can fly
I will put in all my effort to once stand up and fly again. Every body's support made me stand up again. I will try. I will . The song gave me strength.
I WISHED THAT: ...
1. By not choosing the operation alternative, I would still get well.
2. I can remain in Dance Ensemble and I can continue ballet forever and ever.
3. Everlasting Joy+Euphoria+Happiness+"Gay"+Optimistic
Hope it will come true. I've been feeling so miserable lately. Yesterday night was horrible. I went asleep in my wardrobe with teddy bear and MP3 and cried myself to sleep. And when I finally stepped out I was having aches and I went to stand near the window. 有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话. Is there any more ways that I can wake up soon? Any more ways that my loneliness will stop itself? Any more ways that I can rewind time? Any more ways that soon my misery will be gone? Negativity has taken over my mind. Will it go away soon? Tomorrow will be back to ballet. I can't wait. I have never love ballet so much. All for a sudden, it's like as if I can loose it anytime. 1 more day left to the important decision. I'm at a cross road. All the steps bring heartbreaks. I didn't know heartaches hurt so much and take such a long time to heal. I can't bring myself to on the television, who knows what I will see? Who knows if it will traumatized me?
Why am I always so useless? I really don't know what to do. Where is my will power when I am sad? Everything seem to change including me . I treasured everything last time but look at it now. Just in one day ( 19.03.09 ) I changed. I am not who I know last time. I am at a complete lost. I really don't know what to do. I'm not as strong as you think. I have yet broken apart. I want to die. But I'm afraid of the pain it will cause. I am afraid of ending myself. How do I even end myself without even pain? How do I continue living without any pain? Why am I such a coward? Why can't I face the problems with confidence? I want to die yet I'm really afraid. I don't face problems, I run away. Why is it that way? Staying in this world won't do any good.
Sleeping Pills: I will vomit the white powder out. Unless I eat the whole bottle.
Jumping Down: It takes courage to put two legs down.
Slashing: The pain really hurts. And it is quite impossible to die.
Gas: Breathe too much, only brain damage.
Hang myself: I don't know how to.
Shoot myself: I don't own a gun.
Run onto the road: The driver will be held responsible.
Electric: I don't want to get electrocuted. Scary.
I guess it's all impossible. Living in this world hurts so much more. But at the same time, I'm not the only one facing problems. Everyone is facing problems. But why am I so selfish??? So timid??? Such a useless bitch??? Why can't we live happily without any problems? Why do I stand up once again? How do I make myself stronger? How do I believe in myself and bring back my confidence again? I really don't know. I am sick of everything. I really wished there is someone helping me solve all the problems now. I really wished.
Listening to: 刮目相看 by 曹格
Feelings: ....
告诉你我不是 一个会认输的人 但我不得不承认 曾跌倒失败 也曾经走在阴霾 不看不听不说不笑 傻傻的发呆 难道我就被打败 多幸运有你 使我的生命充满希望 从今以後 不再垂头丧气走开 所有人的期待让我站起来 甩掉了阻碍 冲劲全打开 我终淤明白 Fly 尽全力才飞起来 没有後悔不後退 我让你刮目相看 Just fly 向世界证明我存在 努力过的汗水 不断灌溉美好未来 Cause l can fly yes I can fly 不看不听不说不笑 傻傻的发呆 难道我就被打败 多幸运有你 使我的生命充满希望 从今以後 不再垂头丧气走开 所有人的期待让我站起来 甩掉了阻碍 冲劲全打开 我终淤明白 Fly 尽全力才飞起来 没有後悔不後退 我让你刮目相看 Just fly 向世界证明我存在 努力过的汗水 不断灌溉美好未来 Cause l can fly yes I can fly Fly 尽全力才飞起来 没有後悔不後退 我让你刮目相看 Just fly 向世界证明我存在 努力过的汗水 不断灌溉美好未来 Cause l can fly yes I can fly Oh I believe Yes I believe I believe Oh I believe I can fly
I will put in all my effort to once stand up and fly again. Every body's support made me stand up again. I will try. I will . The song gave me strength.
7:54:00 PM Back to top
Profile
All about me
Insert your own picture. Write something about yourself.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean aliquet tempor metus.
Suspendisse euismod sem ut diam. Nunc eros mauris, molestie eu, dignissim id, elementum vel, nisi.
Proin ac erat at enim euismod lacinia.
Integer fringilla, lacus aliquet rhoncus ornare, tellus mauris mollis dui, sit amet placerat velit erat a leo.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean aliquet tempor metus.
Suspendisse euismod sem ut diam. Nunc eros mauris, molestie eu, dignissim id, elementum vel, nisi.
Proin ac erat at enim euismod lacinia.
Integer fringilla, lacus aliquet rhoncus ornare, tellus mauris mollis dui, sit amet placerat velit erat a leo.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean aliquet tempor metus.