Wednesday, March 18
Finally had a 6D gathering with my girlfriends. Missed them so much and when we finally saw each other today was like omg!!! Everyone grew taller so much and there's just to much to catch up on. Cassandra, Qingyi, Dana and Jeannie went. Aqil, Andre, Matthew, Harris also went. 9 people including me, exactly one quarter of the class. Glad to see that the hard work I spent organising the mini outing actually turned out a majestic success. Had lunch and all the boys ( ahem, gentlemen excuse me ) were actually patient enough to wait for us an hour plus when we ate. Woah! Then went to watch Dragon ball and Qingyi was actually biting on the wrapper in fear =.= In the end, well. Just went shopping around separately, the boys AND the girls. And today was quite lucky. Like we had 4 free games in the arcade all because people tapped their card and didn't play. And then we were laughing like insane people. Before I went home, had a teddy bear hug with Qingyi then we almost started crying! Don't worry, I will impart skills on how to organise to you people so that you can organise! Days to (...): 1 ( I DONT WANT... DONT WANT... )
Listening to: 为你存在 by Fahrenheit
Feelings: Scared ): ): ): ):
I never want to dread it again, never in my life have I felt to useless. I don't want to go through the same scenario . I don't want to walk out of the dreaded place again, I don't want to yet again go through the misery. I don't want to face it. I don't want to stare at the ceiling in the middle of the night crying. I don't want my pillows to be wet. I don't want to wake up with swollen eyes...
Why must you always remind me of what is going to happen? Then I secretly went to cry; secretly pressed something sharp until there's red. But I would not feel pain from the wound I just inflicted. I felt pain and hurt from inside. I just ignored the obvious and bottle up my feelings. Until I bottle up more pain, break down and inflict more pain on myself. How much more can I take ? Will you ever notice my actions? Will you save everything before it becomes a rainy day and everyone wears black with tears in their eyes?
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